Cougar Cruise For Women Only!

I don't know why the media is so interested in the cancellation of Carnival's Cougar Cruises.  This inane coverage only propagates more negativity around the term cougar and for all women over 40.  Don't take my word for it - judge for yourself.  Here are a couple of statements pulled from one of the articles - "It seemed it was finally acceptable for sex-hungry older women to hunt down younger men for romance.  And, "Carnival doesn't want predatory women prowling the decks for boy toys".  Nice huh?

 

I don't know why Carnival decided to pull the plug on these cruises, and I really don't care.  In this economy grabbing a piece of the travel dollar is crucial so it didn't take long for other cruise lines to announce they would be delighted to step up and grab the business.

 

Here's what I want to do - organize a Cougar Cruise for women only.  That's something that would be beneficial for all of us. Real Cougars are not man hungry.  In fact, they refuse to be defined by any man regardless of age.  We are strong, confident, independent women who are busy trying to deal with life after 40 and all the changes we are experiencing.  The women who join my Real Cougar Woman Club are looking for support and they are looking for ways to empower themselves.  We all need more TLC and less negative press on how desperate we are.

Real Cougar Stress Busters

Doesn't it seem that everyone you talk to these days is complaining about an ache, a pain, or a flu that just won't go away. In my opinion, that's because we are compromising our immune system.. After all how much stress can we load on our body before it retaliates? 

When we are stressed our adrenal glands are working overtime.  We pump extra adrenaline, cortisol and other hormones that make our muscles tense up, our digestive tract slow down, our blood vessels constrict and our hearts beat faster.  Is it any wonder we end up with migraine headaches, TMJ, knots in our necks and shoulders and lower back pain?  Think about it. How many of these symptoms are you experiencing?

Here's something else stress does - it kills off our brain cells.  How many of us can afford that? 

Here are a few suggestions on how to reduce your stress levels. 

• Exercise - it releases endorphins and uses up excess adrenaline & cortisol
• Sleep -  that's when our immune system replenishes itself
• Eat healthier - when we are stressed we go right for the comfort food - don't do it
• Healthy Thinking - focus on that what's possible not the what is

I am using all of these stress busters and they do work if used consistently. Another thing that helps is a really good massage at least twice a month. Massage helps get rid of the toxic buildup in your body.  Today massage isn't a luxury it's a necessity.  Go ahead you deserve it.      

Elizabeth Gilbert and I Are Skeptical About Marriage

In her bestselling memoir, "Eat, Pray, Love," Elizabeth Gilbertchronicled the time she spent traveling through Italy, India and Indonesia carbo-loading, meditating and seeking balance after suffering through a bitter divorce. At the end of her journey, she fell in love with a Brazilian man, and as far as readers knew, was off to live happily ever after. 

Well, not so fast, as Gilbert's new memoir, "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage" explains. It turns out, after she and Felipe decided to commit their lives to one another sans marriage, the U.S. government stepped in at a border crossing and explained to the couple that Felipe wouldn't be able to re-enter the country unless they were married.

Gilbert, who had sworn off marriage, submerged herself in research on the institution in an attempt to come to terms with it before entering into it again. She interviewed family, friends, and wives in various cultures, and examined the history of marriage and how it's evolved over time.

Elizabeth says, "divorce is the tax we pay for choosing as a culture to believe in love. But I will live with that because I believe in love, but it's also dangerous. We have to turn on the fluorescent light to recognize that marriage may have a fairytale beginning, but a real world ending. That's another reason why marriage is not a game for the young: You don't recognize the differences between affection and reality until you've been banged around a little bit".

I too am a skeptic about marriage.  I lived with my husband for over twenty years before we got married.  In my book "Don't Ever Call Me Ma'am" one of my favorite chapters is entitled You Don't Complete Me.  Anybody who enters into marriage because they think another person has the magic to make you happy will  be very disappointed. 

Real Cougars Are Redefining Happiness

What is the cherished gift we spend our entire lives searching for?  The answer is happiness. 

Happiness is often referred to as 'the elusive butterfly' and that's because we're not really sure what it is, where to find it or what it should feel like when we do.  To compensate for not having that special feeling we spend our lives trying to do things that will distract us from the pain we feel.  We work too hard, watch too much television, spend too much money, spend too much time online, drink too much, have sex with with the wrong people and the list goes on. 

So what can you do to catch this 'elusive butterfly'?  Here are a 5 principles that have worked really well for me.  I'm not saying that I have this happiness thing completely figured out but I am making progress.  

• start looking at every obstacle as hidden opportunity
• don't compare yourself to anyone else - know what really turns YOU on
• understand that as you grow the things that make you happy change - don't hold on to the past
• know that inner happiness can't be taken away - it's your gift to yourself
• in place of distractions do things that touch your heart

As you look at your life this New Year I hope you will consider following these five principles.  If you do a new kind of happiness will be born - a happiness that no one can take away.

Real Cougars Love Gifts From The Heart

As much as our men love us and think they know us, sometimes they need a little help when it comes to gift giving.  What we really want are gifts given from the heart.  Small loving gestures that show us just how much we are appreciated.  

If you want to help your guy make a list of the things that would really make your heart sing.and just casually slip it under his pillow.  Here are just a few suggestions to get your creative juices cranking.

• a very personal email three times a week just to say he's thinking of you
• a note left in the morning telling you to meet him for a sexy rendezvous that evening
• give up one Sunday afternoon football game and do something fun together
• take over one of the household chores (you choose)
• ask him to join a gym and start taking better care of his health - lots of brownie points for this one
• listen to me without trying to solve my problem - just let me know I'm being heard
• turn one of my sexual fantasies into a reality (again you choose)

These heartfelt gifts will keep the spark alive all year round.  And, you might want to return the favor by asking him to prepare a list of the things that will make his heart sing.  Afer all, Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

 

Happy Holidays!

Diamond Alignment A Gift That Keeps On Giving

In the days preceding the holidays our stress levels go right through the roof.  Worrying about what to buy for who and how to pay for them takes a big toll. The second year of the recession has been particularly rough for so many people.  That's why this free gift couldn't come at a more perfect time.

The gift is a free 22 day subscription for a process called Diamond Alignment.  What the Diamond does is empower you to create a multi-faceted life - spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically and materially.  In short it is a Wealth of Being and who couldn't use that? 

No matter how great your losses, how large your challenges or how deep your pain  ... in just 6 minutes, you are regenerated and aligned with your unlimited power.

I have doing Diamond Alignment twice a day for the last two months and can honestly say, I am less stressed and the things I want most are coming to me so much faster.  When you are in the zone, aligned with what you want, it makes such a big difference.

Try Diamond Alignment for 22 days and see how it enables you to master your challenges with greater ease and grace.  And, don't forget to pay-it-forward.

Real Cougars Always Giving Thanks

Here we are again.  Tomorrow is the official start of another holiday season.  A time for great food, time spent with family and friends and giving thanks for all our blessings.

Real Cougars know the importance of taking time each day to be  grateful and appreciative for what we have. Those two ingredients are essential for feeling good and also attracting more of what you want into your life. 

This year be on the lookout for those dreaded 'shoulds'.  The things we feel we have to do but really don't want to.  A perfect example of that is buying gifts that you really don't have the money for.

This year try 'The Three R's' for a happier holiday.

• Realistic expections - only spend the dollars you can comfortably afford
• Rethink - know that more money doesn't buy more love
• Reduce stress - replace shoulds and have to's with want to's

Real Cougars are resilient.  We have all been through tough times and learned a lot of life lessons. This holiday season focus on all the possibilities the coming year will usher in. When you slow down it gives you the perspective needed to focus on what you really want going forward.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for helping me transform my dreams for The Real Cougar Woman into such an amazing journey.

Cougars Are Kicking The Double Standard In The Butt

Real Cougar women everywhere think it's time to bring down the outdated double standard.  We are ready to put on our pointy toed stilettos and give it a quick kick in the butt. And why wouldn't we?  This unfair imbalance that puts men in the driver seat has been around far too long. And, women all over the world are feeling too much like second class citizens.

The double standard is very evident in the workplace.  Women are   earning only 78 cents for every dollar a man makes.  Is that fair?  We do the same jobs, produce the same results, have the same tenure, but our paychecks are falling short. 

A man who is aggressive is considered smart.  A woman who is aggressive is considered a bitch.  Society expects guys to be aggressive, but is repelled by women who invest the same effort in securing what they want. 

And, the inequality doesn't end in the workplace, it rears it's ugly head in our relationships too. Real Cougars know this only too well. If an older man chooses to be with a younger woman he gets the high-five from his buddies and it becomes a badge of honor.  On the other hand, if an older woman is in a relationship with a younger man, she is thought of as a desperate predator and is ridiculed by other females. How ridiculous is that?

Here's the bottom line.  We have a lot more work to do and we want to do it our way.  In the past women have tried to gain equal status by thinking, acting and dressing like a man. Now it's time to tap into our rich reservoir of  feminine power and bring a new awareness to how resourceful, how intelligent and how effective we really are.  

That's what The Real Cougar Woman is all about. We are all working to swing the pendulum back to center doing it our way.

Real Cougars Make Their Spiritual Reservoir A #1 Priority

The world as we have experienced it up to now is changing very changing very rapidly. Climate changes, economic changes, technology, health scares - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The energy on this planet is ramping up and all of us in some way are feeling the effects of this acceleration. Many are scared because they feel they are losing control.  But, Real Cougars, know they are well equipped to handle whatever life has in store for them.  Builiding a strong spiritual reservoir has become their #1 priority.

We are entering a new paradigm and those who are not prepared will feel the effects much more severely than those of us who are.  If you choose to ignore this shift you continue to wonder why all the good stuff happens to other people and not you.  Real Cougars know change is opportunity knocking!

So, the challenge as I see it, is how do you plug into your untapped energy source?  It's something we all have but too few understand how to use it.  This will illustrate what most people do. They 

tune their radio dial to l08.6 when they really want to hear what's playing on 101.1. When they don't get what they want, they wonder why. If you want a specific result you need to make sure you are tuned in to the right station.  And, the right station is feeling good.

 

I will be writing a lot more about this because it's so important for all of us. Feeling good is the strong foundation we need to support everything else going on in our lives.  I will share what I am doing to ramp up my energy because my efforts are being rewarded in ways I could have never imagined.    

Cougars - What Do They Really Want?

What cougars really want is not an easy question to answer.  There are many varieties of this fabulous female and each one has her own ideas of what makes her happy.  But, there is one thing we can all agree on, the qualities we are looking for in our men.

I don’t have to tell you falling in love is easy but keeping that love sizzling is a lot more difficult. We cougars like to do things our way and the truth is it’s hard for some men to keep up with us. Sure, we are over 40 and some of us over 50, but we keep our bodies and minds in tip-top shape. We are pulling our dreams out of the closet and doing whatever it takes to make them come true.  

As we get older and wiser we want different things from our men.  In our 20's tall, dark and handsome was enough - not anymore. To find out what tops our priority list these days just go to the MORE.com website and read my latest article.   I polled the thousands of women in The Real Cougar Woman Club, my online community, to get the answers.  These Real Cougars always tell it like it is and this time was no exception.   What they revealed just might surprise you.