Sex and Our Psyche: 237 Reasons Why We Mate

Ask,2,000 people why they have sex and you will come up with 237 reasons. That's what researchers Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss did and their list is published in the August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior.  They collected data by first asking more than 400 people to list their reasons for having sex and then asking more than 1,500 others to rate how important each reason was to them.

So, what do you think was the most popular reason both men and women gave for having sex? Because they were attracted to the other person.  That makes sense doesn't it?  Other reasons ranged from:

• it helps me get rid of a headache
• it helps me fall asleep
• it burns calories
• it keeps me warm
• it makes my partner feel powerful
• it's fun
• someone dared me to

No matter what the reasons, men were more likely to give them than women, with a couple of notable exceptions.  Women said they had sex to express their love or realizing they were in love.  This kind of confirms that women do emphasize the emotional aspects of sex more than men. But, it could also could mean that females are more reluctant and embarrassed to admit less loving motives.

The researchers found the results contradicted another stereotype about women:  their supposed tendency to use sex to gain status or to boost their  material wealth. Their findings suggest that men do these things more than women.  Here's some of the reasons males said they had sex.  As you can see it went all the way from personal gain to why in the hell not.  Basically, they don't need a reason.

• I had sex to get a promotion
• I had sex to boost my social status
• I had sex because my partner was famous
• I had sex because I was slumming
• I had sex simply because the opportunity presented itself
• I had sex because the person I was with demanded it

It's funny the researchers came to this conclusion, which is really just an old joke.  How can a woman get a man to take off his clothes?  Ask him.

One of the worst reasons to have sex is out of a sense of duty, and  that was why a large number of older women were doing it. They said, "I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't. That fear seems reasonable, yet so destructive.  Yes, infidelity is considered a recreational pastime by too many people, but having sex out of obligation, will not keep your spouse at home.

Have you ever sat quietly and thought of all the reasons you have had sex?  It might be interesting to see how many whys you come up with.  Don't filter your thoughts - there are no wrong answers.  Have fun with it.  Fun is what sex is all about.  When two people want to enjoy each other what better way than the pleasures of the flesh?